Forever Goodbye to a dear old friend

Today have had to cut ties with an old buddy. When we first became acquainted he helped me come out of my shell and overcome my shyness. I always seemed to have a lot of fun with him, and he introduced me to lots of new people. Hanging around with him, I was encouraged to do reckless things and take chances, but most of the time this was beneficial and it led to exciting adventures. However bad things had already started happening and the trouble was that whilst under his influence my friends and I didn’t even think of them as bad, we were just “having a laugh”. But I didn’t really realise this at the time and anyway the positives of his presence definitely outweighed the negatives.

But as the years have passed the benefits of spending time with my chum have waned and the pitfalls have increased. I’m not so inhibited anymore as I was when I was younger and I’ve got more confidence in myself now. I don’t need to lose my inhibitions so much anymore and now when I lose them I often go to far. And he’s addictive company. When I start spending time with him I can’t break away, I just want more and more of him. Now more often than not he just seems to have a bad effect on me. He can make me argumentative, defensive and sometimes angry. He can turn me into a bore who rants on and on about the same things.

We’ve had great times together and at one point you played an important role in my life. I don’t regret meeting you; I’ve had so much fun and so many adventures. But unlike most people I could never do moderation. I was too dependant and once I started I could never stop. I have tried for many years to just hang out with you for a little bit at a time but it doesn’t work. And you make me regress to what I used to behave like years ago, I’ve grown up and changed now and I don’t need to express myself that way anymore. I’m a happy person now, I’m not angry; I’ve come to terms with the past and all that. You make me go back to the past. It all came to a head last weekend when you contributed to me shaming myself in front of my new housemates. And now I feel like I’m walking on eggshells in my own house, unwanted and disliked.

I don’t want to get into fights and maybe one day wake up in hospital. I don’t want to be a wanker anymore. I don’t want to be ashamed of my actions anymore. And most of all I want to stop losing my friends.So Goodbye Alcohol. Goodbye forever.